It isn’t very pretty. I struggle with balance. Depending on the trigger I either overeat for comfort or restrict out of emotional pain.
I have never found a happy medium. When stress over takes me and I feel the dip I turn to food for solace. I don’t really get comfort from it though because too many years of abusing food has wreaked havoc on my body. I am overweight, sluggish, and tired all of the time. I have always struggled with body image and self esteem issues as well so it only keeps me in a constant state of self loathing and hate. Then I tend to flip the switch and restrict food for a while because that worked for me when I was a teen. Or so is how I felt.
It is a vicious cycle.
Every year I say the same. This year is my year. I will break the cycle and overcome. I will lose the weight, and every year ends the same. I stay stuck in the cycle.
I stay stressed, with raising babies and dealing with my own self. I continue to eat my pain and feelings. And I stay down. I stay sad. I stay tired.
Yet, here we are again. New year, new me. Right?
I’m still working on it. But, I really am tired of it all. I really want to break this cycle. I want to find my happy again.
Thus, part of the reason I decided to start this blogging thing to begin with. As a sort of journaling therapy for myself.
Here’s to a new me. Maybe?
Wow! I cannot believe that this year only has a few hours left. It has been a great year overall. I decided to try my hand at this blogging thing. My youngest turkey started school. My oldest turkey started (and has been rocking) the medicine to help his ADHD. He also started Middle School!
We had some mini adventures over the summer. New foods were tried, friends were made, and experiences hopefully cemented into our lasting memories.
We are celebrating tonight by watching New Years shows, eating too much, and watching the fireworks our neighbors pop. It is sort of our tradition as it is usually too cold on New Years Eve to do much and the kids pass out early. We are snuggled together in pajamas and blankets. We do have some noise makers and party hats to get into the spirit of things, though. Our partying usually ends by ten o’clock at the latajama
We have said our goodbyes to 2017 and we are excited to see what 2018 holds.
I am not big on resolutions but I hope next year to be better. I want to make memories with my babies. I want to be there and be present with them. I want to go on adventures and learn new things.
So Farewell 2017.
Wishing you all a Happy New Year! May all your dreams and wishes come true!
“And we’ll talk a cup of kindess yet for Auld Lang Syne!”
What are your New Years Traditions and do you make resolutions? Share them below!